


RappROACHement

by MusingsOnBuckyBarnes



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: A horse has to do what a horse has to do, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Fix-It: s01e06 Rare Species, Episode: s01e06 Rare Species, Getting the idiot boys together, M/M, Roach saves the day, Roach the horse POV, The horse is so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusingsOnBuckyBarnes/pseuds/MusingsOnBuckyBarnes
Summary: When Roach realises that her idiot boys are making a huge mistake, she decides to take matters into her own hooves.A fix-it AU for the end of episode 1.06Roach the Horse POV!
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 100
Kudos: 769





	RappROACHement

**Author's Note:**

> Rapprochement  
> Noun: Oxford definition: (especially in international affairs) an establishment or resumption of harmonious relations.

xXx

Roach hoped that things were going well with the dragon hunt. It was boring to stay here in the clearing and wait and wonder how much longer until Geralt and Jaskier returned.

Hopefully Geralt would triumph without any harm coming to him or to the bard, and hopefully the bard would write a great song out of it.

She liked Jaskier and was glad when he was around. He loved giving her treats and brushing her coat while he chatted. (Geralt once complained that she ended up so shiny following his efforts that they’d be spotted from miles away, with her glowing like a beacon.) She didn’t mind Jaskier talking so much or singing. Such a lovely voice, and he was so in love with life and everything in it.

Which had frankly been a refreshing change. She did love her Witcher though, really she did.

Jaskier had also occasionally braided sections of her mane, sometimes weaving flowers in them. It had made her reflection in the lake look very pretty. And Geralt’s spluttering reaction had been priceless. (“What the fuck have you done to my horse?”)

Roach’s musings were interrupted by the noise of someone or something approaching. She was relieved to see Jaskier appear and head down the mountain path towards her. She could see no signs of injuries. Yet something was wrong. Jaskier looked like he was struggling not to cry.

Geralt. Something must have happened to Geralt.

When Jaskier reached Roach, he put down his lute, then began gathering his own possessions, including things that Roach often carried for him these days. What was he doing?

Jaskier slung his lute and bedroll over his shoulder, and a small bag which contained his notebook, food and water. He went up to her, stroked her head, then rested his forehead against hers. “Goodbye, Roach. I’ll miss you. Look after Geralt.”

His tone… He sounded broken.

Why _goodbye_? Well, sometimes he and Geralt did go off in their separate directions for a while, but not in this manner. Could she not leave them alone, unsupervised, for a few fricking days?

What the hell was going on?

Over the years, Roach had seen the way that Geralt and Jaskier looked at each other. Times when their gazes had met, or when one was watching the other, including while that person was asleep. How Geralt had reacted when Jaskier was dying due to the djinn.

She might not be one of their species (thankfully), but she knew what love and devotion looked like. These two had it worse than a dose of the plague. And even more incurable.

Geralt smiled a lot more now, often involuntarily at something Jaskier would say. A few times Roach had heard Geralt humming one of Jaskier’s songs. And it was nice to hear about things other than monster slayings. These two were threaded through each other’s lives now.

Perhaps they’d just had a silly argument and they’d get over it. Geralt would catch up with Jaskier as they went down the mountain path, and all would be sorted out.

The dwarves arrived back in camp. Jaskier asked them about a path they had mentioned that also arrived at this clearing.

“Aye, it’s just over there,” Yarpen Zigrin said, pointing. “It comes out on the road to Harbing, which wasn’t any use for us, since we were all coming from the other side of the mountain.”

Jaskier asked a few questions about how long it would take to reach the Harbing road and the conditions of the path. Apparently the first half down was good for horses but from then on to the road it wasn’t suitable.

“That’s the road for me, then. Thank you. Goodbye, and all the best.”

Jaskier hugged Roach’s neck, then took a deep breath, straightened and walked off.

_Jaskier, what are you doing? There are creatures out there, like hirikkas!_

The bard had managed to survive and travel on his own before meeting Geralt and also in the times they’d travelled separately, but this still didn’t seem like a good idea.

Jaskier disappeared down that other path, leaving a very worried Roach behind.

About five or ten minutes later, Geralt arrived back in camp, or rather a thundercloud wearing Geralt’s face. He was in a foul mood, though he was glad to see Roach. He didn’t seem to have anything but minor injuries, though perhaps a broken heart?

Geralt saddled Roach, gathered up his possessions and stowed them in the saddlebags – did the lack of Jaskier’s possessions give him any pause? It was hard to tell. He said goodbye to the dwarves.

“Let’s get off this fucking mountain, Roach.” Geralt started to lead Roach out of the clearing to the main path. She knew he’d saddle up in a minute.

He didn’t know. He didn’t know that Jaskier had taken the other path. Or, he didn’t care.

They were heading away from each other. She had to stop them. Even with his long life and rapid healing abilities, Geralt’s occupation meant that he could easily die before he and Jaskier met again. And Jaskier, although not a small or skinny being, was still a vulnerable, non-warrior, squishy human, who could also meet his fate at any moment.

No. Her two-legged idiots were not going to stuff this up due to their tiny brains.

As soon as Geralt relaxed his hold on her lead rope, she took the opportunity to move away quickly, pulling the rope out of his hand. As she had hoped and expected, he was so used to her obedience, at her staying put, that it took him completely by surprise. Which was good, as it gave her more of a head start.

“Roach! Roach, get back here!”

_Nope. I’m not a dog…_

She reached the other path, and started down it, while hearing one of the dwarves say: “Looks like your horse is going after your boyfriend! That’s the way he went.”

She heard Geralt swear.

Roach went along the path as quickly as she was able, sometimes having to slow right down and pick her way through a tricky bit, while hoping her lead rope wouldn’t get caught on anything. She had to find Jaskier before he reached any part of the route where she couldn’t follow him. The dwarves had said the first half should be all right, but how old was their information? Things could have changed. And if there was a problem with the path, then she’d have to do some spectacular whinnying in the hope that Jaskier would hear it, imagine she was being attacked, and run back to help her.

After what seemed like forever but probably wasn’t very long, she saw Jaskier. He was walking steadily, mechanically, so focused on his steps or thoughts that he didn’t seem to hear her coming. The lute was perched on his back, like it was growing out of him, bumping against his bedroll with each step.

She was about to neigh, but then the sounds of her hooves must have penetrated. He stopped and turned around. And stared.

“Roach! What are you doing here? Where’s Geralt? Did he get thrown off? Or did a snake scare you?”

Jaskier rushed over to her, touching her head, then scurrying around her to check for injuries or any signs of her or Geralt’s blood, all the while exclaiming and asking questions as if he expected her to answer them. He looked back up the path, perhaps expecting to see Geralt lying sprawled there.

“Your legs seem okay…”

_Come on, blue eyes, let’s get you back where you belong._

She gently bumped him with her head, trying to push him towards her saddle. He actually seemed to get the message, or the important part of it.

“Oh, all right…” Jaskier muttered something about finding out what the hell was going on, and took the lead rope. He mounted a bit awkwardly due to all the kit he was carrying. Roach barely gave him time to settle before she started back up the path. He gave a slight yelp and then tried to steer, but he soon realised she was the one in charge and sat back and let her go. The boy had some sense.

It wasn’t long before she could hear her very pissed-off lord and master bellowing, “Roach! Roach?”

And then there he was. Geralt looked relieved, but then glared at them as he approached, like this had been both their faults. Roach stopped. Jaskier dismounted and let go of the rope.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Geralt snapped as he stalked up to them.

He was probably (a) asking Roach, and (b) being rhetorical, but it made the bard bristle, assuming Geralt was addressing him.

“I don’t know! Roach just came up to me – did she throw you off?” Jaskier ran a hand through his own short mane. (Geralt had a much better one.)

“She ran off on me. After you, it seems. What the hell were you doing taking THIS road?” Geralt was using a ‘you idiot’ tone, which had the effect of alcohol thrown onto a fire.

“To get as far away from you as possible as quickly as possible, per your orders!”

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd they were yelling at each other… Roach sighed. It was hard having the lone brain cell in this trio. Very wearying.

“You’re a horse’s arse!” Jaskier paused then said, “No offence, Roach.”

_Human’s arse, more like. You no-tails are so fucking frustrating!_ She considered nipping him. Stupid bipedal twats.

Jaskier continued, saying to Geralt, “You said I’m the one shovelling all the shit onto you! You said it would be a blessing if I weren’t around anymore, so I’m giving you that blessing!”

Did Geralt really say that? She considered dropping a ‘brown flower’ or two on him. Down his leg. Let him see what he thought of that shit. Instead, Roach deliberately stepped on Geralt’s foot. That was an ‘ouch’ even for a mutant warrior. He side-eyed her. At least that stopped him momentarily from yelling some more.

Jaskier took advantage of the pause to resume heading back down the path. _Oh, no you DON’T, bard._ Roach went past him and blocked it. She nudged him with her head again, trying to bump him towards Geralt.

It was at times like this that she regretted not having opposable thumbs. She’d bang their heads together or tie them to a tree until they talked it out.

“She doesn’t want you to leave.”

“And what about YOU, Geralt? Is that what you want? Tell me honestly!”

There was a pause. Roach tried to give Geralt a _Do NOT fuck this up_ glare but Geralt wasn’t looking at her. He was just staring at Jaskier.

When the Witcher spoke, it was quiet. “Let’s go to the coast.”

The bard’s confused “What?” matched Roach’s internal one.

Geralt said, “You said it would please you if we went there. It would please me too if we could go to the coast together. It’s a good idea. I think we need it. Get away from all this.”

Jaskier stared at him, speechless.

Geralt continued, “On the way there, we can … talk. And afterwards, we could look for the Child Surprise.”

Jaskier kept staring at him.

Geralt looked rather stricken at being the one who had to actually carry the conversation for a change. Especially this conversation. “I don’t want you to leave, and things aren’t all your fault. I just … I got angry and took it out on you. Please don’t go.”

Roach held her breath. For Geralt, that was actually quite a speech.

Jaskier knew that too. He nodded and said quietly, “The coast it is then.”

Roach internally did a little happy dance and swished her tail, actually missing Geralt’s reaction in her relief.

Gods, that had been like herding cats. Too bad the gods had given humans arms and weird, short faces instead of sense. And no decent nostrils to speak of. Things weren’t a field of daisies again, but at least it was a new start, maybe to something better. And then Geralt and Jaskier could admit how they felt to each other. But, small steps first.

“All right. Let’s get back on the correct road, and head to the coast.” Geralt turned to Roach and asked in a sarcastic tone, “If that is, of course, all right with you, your majesty?”

She walked up to him, as docile and obedient as a lamb. Jaskier snickered.

Together, they went back up to the better path, and there, Geralt took Jaskier’s bed roll and put it on Roach, then mounted, held out his hand and helped Jaskier up to sit behind him. That invitation got a smile from Jaskier. Off the three of them went, eventually catching up with the dwarves, who gave them good-natured ribbing about fixing up their “lovers’ spat”.

xXx

Roach’s humans, her idiot boys, her two-legged pets, had spent the last two weeks talking through things, and getting closer and closer, as the trio travelled to the coast. For the first few days, Jaskier was fairly quiet, which was eerie. Geralt was actually doing his best to open up and talk, and the more he managed to do so, the more Jaskier came out of his shell.

Roach wasn’t privy to all of their conversations. Most, yes, but occasionally she would be grazing or they’d be at an inn. Or she’d tune out some of their talk because it seemed very private and somewhat painful. She couldn’t monitor her precious morons all the time. Roach did hear Geralt saying that he himself had been the one to cause the whole Child Surprise by picking the reward. And they were fumbling through discussions about their true feelings for each other.

She did hear Jaskier ask, “What about Yennefer?”

Ooo, now THAT was going to be interesting. Roach hadn’t been around Yennefer that much, but she knew this would be a big issue.

Geralt replied, “She’s important to me, and I love her, but our love isn’t… it’s not romantic love. We’re better off not together. The mind control and the third wish complicated things for us. Borch said that even with that wish binding us so we keep meeting, we won’t be together in that way. We both know that now.”

Three days ago, Jaskier had brushed Geralt’s own mane and braided it (though he had stopped short of putting flowers in it). Roach felt a little jealous.

Two days ago, the bard and the Witcher had kissed. That had opened up the floodgates, as the next day, yesterday: gods, SO MUCH KISSING. Making up for lost time. It was a wonder that they’d actually managed to move more than a few feet in travel that day. They had arrived at the coast today, and at a nice beach Roach had rolled in the sand and swum in the sea. Bliss. Geralt and Jaskier had stripped off and swum too, showing off their strange bodies with the odd hair coverage and giving each other salty kisses. When Jaskier splashed Geralt, the Witcher had laughed and splashed straight back.

Tomorrow, they would head for the nearest town. Tonight, they were camping. The camp was lit by stars, moonlight and the fire. There was a soft wind, bringing the smell of salt air with it.

And the boys were lying on a blanket, having decided that tonight was The Night to consummate their relationship.

Geralt had insisted that they camp away from the beach, or at least away from its sand dunes. “Yes, it’s very romantic, but if we’re going to get intimate tonight, you don’t want the mood killed by grains of sand getting where they shouldn’t. You’ll thank me.”

They’d stripped off their clothing again, and were arching and rubbing against each other like they were trying to start a fire with their crotches instead of with sticks or flint. Geralt was on top, then Jaskier was. Their rhythm seemed to match the distant pounding of the surf.

Roach hoped they somehow managed not to wear down their penises with all that rubbing. They’d surely be complaining of chafing in the morning.

Human sex was so odd. So many potential positions and variables. It looked like they were wrestling. She knew she should really ignore them, but they were right there, in front of her tasty meal of grass and oats, so she couldn’t really. And it was nice to see that they were together at last.

Geralt had a hand between their bodies now. The Witcher had managed to reduce his bard to incoherence, and the bard had managed to increase his Witcher’s vocality. While Geralt had many decades of experience in such matters, Jaskier was also very, very good with his hands – in fact, they were everywhere, like Geralt’s body was a new tune he was determined to learn all at once. 

They both climaxed with noises that would have scared away any birdlife in the vicinity.

With all the rubbing and rolling around finished, they lay there, clinging together, panting. Geralt shifted them so that he was lying on his back with Jaskier partly to his side, but mostly on top of him, his arms around the bard. Jaskier’s head lay against his chest, rising and falling rapidly with the Witcher’s breathing. Jaskier was too busy trying to get his own breath back to actually say anything. At least it wasn’t that awful wheezing struggling for breath after the djinn.

Roach had a feeling that Geralt would be shutting Jaskier up that way a heck of a lot from now on. Well, it appeared to be a fun way to do so, if one were so inclined.

Their sweat-slicked bodies glowed with moonlight and firelight. One of Geralt’s hands was slowly stroking up and down Jaskier’s back.

Jaskier suddenly looked a little uncertain. What? Why? Perhaps he was worrying that Geralt would regret what they’d done?

The bard raised his head to look at Geralt. And Geralt gave him the biggest, happiest smile that Roach had ever seen. Roach hadn’t known that Geralt’s mouth could stretch that wide. Reassured, Jaskier matched it with his own best joyful grin.

Then Geralt slid a hand down Jaskier’s face to a spot on his cheek. “You were lying on my pendant – there’s an imprint of it on you now.”

“You’ve branded me. And I think I have the imprints of your hands on my arse.”

“Same!”

“I’ll get the camomile lotion – and a cloth.”

“In a minute…” Geralt kissed his forehead and kept his arms firmly around the bard.

Jaskier rested his face back down with a happy, contented sigh. He gazed over at Roach, then started laughing. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a horse look so smug before.”

“You’re right.”

“Just before the whole dragon adventure kicked off, I was working on a heartbreak ballad. Kept working on it when I was going off on my own –” Geralt’s arms tightened around him – “But now I’ve rather lost the mood of it, and it’s all your fault!”

“Sorry,” Geralt said, sounding only a teeny bit that. “You’ll just have to compose a song about my sexual prowess instead.”

“Actually, I’ll write Roach a ballad. She deserves it.”

“Agreed – I look forward to hearing it.”

Pleased, Roach went back to her eating. The world had adapted to her requirements, with a healthy equine push. Roach felt that this was as it should be. And the world was absolutely all the better for it.

xXx

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written a fic since August 2018, which is an extremely long gap for me. So it was wonderful to get back on the horse (literally). Thanks very much to my great beta reader, NurseDarry.


End file.
